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This Party Tip submitted by cmolino - May 1st, 2009
Wedding Etiquette Issues to Consider
By: Ciarla Molino
Although the world has become a much more casual place and it often seems like fewer people are following proper wedding etiquette rules, make no mistake, proper etiquette is very much alive and well, albeit slightly modified. Of all the important life altering events you will ever experience, your wedding day is one of those when your social skills should be at the top of their game. Therefore, let’s tackle a few of the more controversial wedding etiquette issues.
Whether or not to have children at your wedding is a personal decision. It is your day, after all, and if you do not want children there, then people should respect that and not bring their children. If you decide to allow children at your wedding, then their names should be included on the inner envelope on the invitation to let your guests know their children are invited. However, if you do not wish to have children at your wedding, then you simply do not include the children’s names on the inner envelope of the invitation. Whatever you do, DON’T include “no children” in the wedding invitation wording as that is in very poor taste. Instead, you can ask friends and family to help spread the word if someone asks, explaining that costs and space restraints are preventing you from having children attend your wedding. Now, with all this in mind, know that aside from your own children or brothers or sisters, no exceptions should be made or inevitably, someone’s feelings will be hurt. Make your decision and stand by it with no exceptions to the rule.
With many people’s finances being what they are these days and more and more brides & grooms footing the bill for their own weddings, the issue of a cash bar often arises as a means to save money for the reception. To put it frankly, JUST SAY NO. Having a cash bar is the ultimate no-no as far as wedding etiquette goes and makes the wedding hosts (the persons paying for the wedding) come off as cheap. If you can not afford a full open bar, then your proper options are to not have a bar at all at your reception, or if you absolutely must bend this rule, to simply offer beer and wine and no mixed drinks. While you will still incur some expense, it will be far lesser than that of a full open bar, but yet, still not turn off your guests by expecting them to pay for their own drinks.
Cutting the Cake
Sure, we’ve all seen those “Funniest Home Video’s” where the bride and groom smash an entire piece of cake in each others faces after the momentous cutting of the cake, but let me assure you, this comedic moment is not exactly proper etiquette. Yes, it is always a tempting though, however, just know that smashing the cake in your new spouses face on this most special of days is only going to come off as being tacky and not tasteful. And besides, after all the time and money spent planning the perfect day, do you really want it ruined by a piece of cake? I didn’t think so.
Always a sticky subject is the question of who pays for what when it comes to a wedding. Proper wedding etiquette rules suggest that for a traditional wedding where the bride’s family is giving the wedding, they pay for the invitations, announcements, all wedding and reception expenses, the grooms ring, gifts for the bridesmaids, and church fees (minus the donation to the minister). This then leaves the brides wedding ring, the marriage license, gifts for the groomsmen, and the donation to the minister, the bride’s bouquet, and corsages/flowers for the mothers, and the honeymoon for the groom to pay for. In addition, the grooms family is also expected to host and pay for the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding.
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